There is a weird yet obvious parallel between trying to live a healthy lifestyle and life itself. In both instances quitting is not or should ever be an option. No matter what. But sometimes in both we always come sooooo close. Like when you're on holiday,its an all inclusive resort and every meal is a buffet with such amazing smelling bad but all so good display of foods.....i'm on holiday, life's too short, a week long binge wont hurt....or all your loved ones turn on you, you have no one to trust and you've been told your illness may be terminal.....the baths soooo warm, maybe if i take a few of those sleeping pills and close my eyes, the eternal darkness will be better, safer, more comforting. Or your a housewife, who woke up after 5 years of being 'just' a mum and wife, you love your family with all your heart but one day this perfectly gorgeous stranger notices you, in his eyes there's the promise of adventure and temporary fun, just what you have been looking for to brighten up your somewhat dull existence......why not? no one will ever know,it will make me so happy which will in turn make me a better more rounded person for my family or the best one- your down in the dumps, you've lost someone or something so precious and there in front of you is an amazing chocolate cake that can feed 30......i'm having such a bad time, eating all of that will make me happy, will comfort me and help numb the pain.
Faced with these situations, its so hard to think clearly. You're consumed with selfish emotions and your greed or self fulfillment. Weakness or whatever you wish to call it fights like crazy to take over, this is the time when its most important to step back and think: If you do cave in, the guilt, the regret, the consequences....are in comprehensible and they affect not only you but all the people in your life. It is vital to always remember that you almost always have a choice, you can walk past the muffins and ice-cream and instead reach for the greek yoghurt and honey, you can say to that stranger, it all sounds so exciting and tempting but i'm happily married(and mean it) and you can always push that cake aside,go on your knees and search within for inner strength. In all those situations you can choose 'life'. A positive life. One that will in the long run make you feel happy and fulfilled.
Friday, May 18, 2012
a crutch......a pleasant surprise
Getting My Foundation
Posted on 09/24/2011 by LeelaLosing
Hi, I'm a yo-yo dieter, mostly reformed binger-purger, forever foodie, and erratic exerciser. Yes, I have food issues. In the past two years I've lost 60 lbs on my own just eating healthy (reasonable portions, no restrictions) and exercising. Lately I've teetered between maintaining the loss and gaining/losing the same 7-10 lbs. Since I'm an emotional eater (or under-eater depending), the breaks in-between losing chunks of weight have helped my head catch up to my body and feel comfortable adjusting to the changes.
As a former vegan, then vegetarian, then pescatarian and now full-range eater again (although I usually turn my nose up at most chicken and fatty beef). I've gone through almost every food, diet and cleanse craze there is. Atkins, done it. Zone, done it. Scarsdale, done it. Nutrisystem, done it. 8-day fast, done it. Raw, done it. Soy-Sugar-Wheat-Dairy-Free, done it. Nutritionists, two or three. As someone who is fairly skeptical of marketing and advertising, and even most fashion trends, I have spent a lot of time letting other people decide what I should eat. The promises of quick fixes and food plans now make me run the other way. It's my way now and I'll figure it out, thank you.
The only instant gratification I believe in now is a massage, my bed and maybe dark chocolate.....there is no let-down, no rebound, no strings attached and for things that feel so good it's shocking that they are healthy. The fact that they claim to aid weight loss is honestly just icing on the cake.
In the elusive and convoluted meanderings of figuring out why I can't just follow a food plan and be done with it, I've discovered that like any substance or activity that can be used to excess and to numb or avoid your feelings, food is my drug of choice. Despite my enthusiastic search I've yet to discover a successful quick fix or instant cure. What I have learned is that it's very much an internal, inside job and often my biggest successes have no relationship to food or recipes or willpower.
I'm finding that it takes discipline, a realistic foundation and support to move forward. The healthy things that work in mind and body must be done over and over again until they take roots or as a routine. A workable plan must be figured out, from little things like a shopping list and finding time to work out and prepare meals, and for me I found if I try to do too much at once it ends in frustration, disappointment and another failed attempt. Support along the way helps enormously. A shared experience with others who have the same issues or are trying to achieve the same thing is monumental and makes some hard days end with a smile instead. Both the friends I've made at myfitnesspal.com and a twice-a-week workshop support group have been invaluable and kept me going.
And despite all the work I put into it, it's surprisingly and remarkably easy to let it all go. A few weeks ago I had a car stolen from my building along with my Blackberry and all of my information, plus a bunch of big-ticket items I had bought in the last weeks. You see, I tried to be very organized so I had all my appointments, log-in user names and passwords for everything, and contacts stored so I'd have it all in one easy place. The theft affected me more than I cared to admit, and I was really thrown off my game. Add to that all the phone calls and paperwork and time that is involved with reporting and figuring things out, replacing things and cancelling, changing and updating accounts and re-constructing my calendar in the midst of missing appointments left and right, and repopulated my phone, addresses and emails. It's still not over yet, and yes, I will make sure I have an efficient back-up plan after this.
I knew when it happened that I was rattled, scared and feeling violated. I also knew that I was scattered and more than a step behind due to the missing information on my Blackberry. What I didn't realize was how easy and unconsciously these feelings led me to stop taking care of myself and fall into my knee-jerk comfort of food. And soon the ever-ready excuses to myself started and the promises to stop it the next day. Feelings of depression and emotional/functional paralysis set in, and I was officially in deep water.
I completely stopped drinking almost all water, except in the smallest quantities. Coffee and wine consumption were up and breakfasts became sugar and pastry feasts. The difference this time was that I had already experienced life on the other side and enjoyed it. It wasn't just feeling better, but it was the realization that I set a standard in my mind about the importance of taking care of myself physically and emotionally and I knew it didn't look like this. I began to feel miserable with not just my body and energy level and all the other changes in my body that I felt, but almost more so I was tired of feeling stuck emotionally and keeping myself hostage with food. I eventually began to miss my huge glasses of water and the joy that the tastes of fresh fruit brought. I longed for a plate of greens like I sometimes do for an old boyfriend, hmmm, that was a really good time in my life I wish I could go back....and I knew my friend spinach was still around and wanting me too.
Posted on 09/24/2011 by LeelaLosing
Hi, I'm a yo-yo dieter, mostly reformed binger-purger, forever foodie, and erratic exerciser. Yes, I have food issues. In the past two years I've lost 60 lbs on my own just eating healthy (reasonable portions, no restrictions) and exercising. Lately I've teetered between maintaining the loss and gaining/losing the same 7-10 lbs. Since I'm an emotional eater (or under-eater depending), the breaks in-between losing chunks of weight have helped my head catch up to my body and feel comfortable adjusting to the changes.
As a former vegan, then vegetarian, then pescatarian and now full-range eater again (although I usually turn my nose up at most chicken and fatty beef). I've gone through almost every food, diet and cleanse craze there is. Atkins, done it. Zone, done it. Scarsdale, done it. Nutrisystem, done it. 8-day fast, done it. Raw, done it. Soy-Sugar-Wheat-Dairy-Free, done it. Nutritionists, two or three. As someone who is fairly skeptical of marketing and advertising, and even most fashion trends, I have spent a lot of time letting other people decide what I should eat. The promises of quick fixes and food plans now make me run the other way. It's my way now and I'll figure it out, thank you.
The only instant gratification I believe in now is a massage, my bed and maybe dark chocolate.....there is no let-down, no rebound, no strings attached and for things that feel so good it's shocking that they are healthy. The fact that they claim to aid weight loss is honestly just icing on the cake.
In the elusive and convoluted meanderings of figuring out why I can't just follow a food plan and be done with it, I've discovered that like any substance or activity that can be used to excess and to numb or avoid your feelings, food is my drug of choice. Despite my enthusiastic search I've yet to discover a successful quick fix or instant cure. What I have learned is that it's very much an internal, inside job and often my biggest successes have no relationship to food or recipes or willpower.
I'm finding that it takes discipline, a realistic foundation and support to move forward. The healthy things that work in mind and body must be done over and over again until they take roots or as a routine. A workable plan must be figured out, from little things like a shopping list and finding time to work out and prepare meals, and for me I found if I try to do too much at once it ends in frustration, disappointment and another failed attempt. Support along the way helps enormously. A shared experience with others who have the same issues or are trying to achieve the same thing is monumental and makes some hard days end with a smile instead. Both the friends I've made at myfitnesspal.com and a twice-a-week workshop support group have been invaluable and kept me going.
And despite all the work I put into it, it's surprisingly and remarkably easy to let it all go. A few weeks ago I had a car stolen from my building along with my Blackberry and all of my information, plus a bunch of big-ticket items I had bought in the last weeks. You see, I tried to be very organized so I had all my appointments, log-in user names and passwords for everything, and contacts stored so I'd have it all in one easy place. The theft affected me more than I cared to admit, and I was really thrown off my game. Add to that all the phone calls and paperwork and time that is involved with reporting and figuring things out, replacing things and cancelling, changing and updating accounts and re-constructing my calendar in the midst of missing appointments left and right, and repopulated my phone, addresses and emails. It's still not over yet, and yes, I will make sure I have an efficient back-up plan after this.
I knew when it happened that I was rattled, scared and feeling violated. I also knew that I was scattered and more than a step behind due to the missing information on my Blackberry. What I didn't realize was how easy and unconsciously these feelings led me to stop taking care of myself and fall into my knee-jerk comfort of food. And soon the ever-ready excuses to myself started and the promises to stop it the next day. Feelings of depression and emotional/functional paralysis set in, and I was officially in deep water.
I completely stopped drinking almost all water, except in the smallest quantities. Coffee and wine consumption were up and breakfasts became sugar and pastry feasts. The difference this time was that I had already experienced life on the other side and enjoyed it. It wasn't just feeling better, but it was the realization that I set a standard in my mind about the importance of taking care of myself physically and emotionally and I knew it didn't look like this. I began to feel miserable with not just my body and energy level and all the other changes in my body that I felt, but almost more so I was tired of feeling stuck emotionally and keeping myself hostage with food. I eventually began to miss my huge glasses of water and the joy that the tastes of fresh fruit brought. I longed for a plate of greens like I sometimes do for an old boyfriend, hmmm, that was a really good time in my life I wish I could go back....and I knew my friend spinach was still around and wanting me too.
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