The higher the mountain

There are those days in life when you feel on top of the world, like you just climbed the highest mountain and you can see everyone from the top......you feel like a super hero with soooo many powers, the most important one, the power to fly!.... Today is no such day for me. Today i feel like an ant, buried deep down at the root of the mountain. So deep down, it'll take many years and many firemen to rescue me.....and my ability to fly......if only. The worst thing of all is, this was/is my decision. I have within me, the power to make myself happy in this situation, I have the power to take control, i have the power to make a choice and yet again, i chose wrung. I let myself down, i took more away from me. I was reading a book today and a statement the author made stuck to my subconscious and its been eating away at me all day. She said- 'physical cravings ruin figures, people, relationships and lives'. I read that and my first thought was, well thats a little over dramatic.....but as i kept repeating it to myself i realised it's not dramatic at all, it is actually so true. Everytime i make a bad food decision, everytime i succumb to a physical food craving that i know i shouldnt, a very small part of me dies and in the last month i feel like i have lost a huge part of who i used to be.... of who i hope to be. Everytime i chose wrong, i'm taking a dream away from me. Hence the ant underneath the mountain metaphor, i've never felt so small but actually look so big! I make no excuses about my decisions today, except that this really is rock bottom for me, the only way from here is up. So i will start climbing again, i will keep going even if it kills me, and i will reach the top......... Physical cravings ruin lives........

Day 21 part two

just the motivation i needed today. want to hear from those who have LOST the weight and have already achieved the goals you never thought possible! Tell those that are in the middle of or just starting their journey.... Is there any unhealthy food/drink that replaces the feeling of fitting in those favorite pair of skinny jeans? Or seeing ab definition? Or your cellulite disappearing? For me, the answer is NO. NO yummy junk food or delicious drink can replace the confidence I feel now (compared to how I used to feel). I want this post to act as encouragement for those struggling to achieve their goals. ♥ If you are eating clean (not dieting) and you are eating enough throughout the day, it's not a matter of IF you achieve your goals...it's WHEN. Stay consistent. It took me 3-4 months of clean eating to see a BIG difference. That's when other people started noticing too. How long do you have to eat clean? As long as you want to look AWESOME! Diets are stupid. It's a LIFESTYLE. Today was a day of self rediscovery. I realized i'm a very anxious person. I was trying to get some uni work done and hubby was helping me out but it all felt so overwhelming, i began to fidget and was about to reach for an apple when i said to myself, what are you doing? Food WAS my crutch Was as it will never be again. Today i battled with that realization and it hit me just how hard this transformation is going to be but i know for a fact that it'll be worth it. On a totally different but connected topic, huuby's birthday is this saturday, again i'm anxious. I want to join in the festivities but this challenge is so important to me. I want to be the girl that doesnt panic when i wake up in the morning or when i leave my house because i'm worried i'll be tempted by food. I want to be the girl who's indifferent to food, who doesnt crave sugar, who is happy with and in herself. Anyway, day 1 done!!! 1 for sarah 0 for fatty fat fat!

Day 21

Here I am starting yet again. The last time i weighed myself (last night prebinge, i weighed in at 152.8lbs) My goal still remains 130lbs, but more importantly i want to get there the right way. Building the right habits and having the right attitude to food. It is common knowledge that it takes 21 days to form a habit and 3 days to break it, well, I've decided to take on the 21 day challenge starting today. I will be eating clean 61/2 days a week and having something alternative at the meal off if i so choose. David's birthday celebrations are this sat eve but i'm determined to kickstart this program before i wake up one day and find i cant walk, or worse i cant sleep without those breathing things morbidly obese people need to sleep. So let this journey begin again. Will be weighing myself EVERY saturday morning without fail and i have a feeling that this time, I will see it through!! and i'll be on the other side, the happy side, happy and finally free from my demons!!! I'm excited at the prospect!!! and all the potential!!!