How hard can it be losing your baby weight? sarah jessica parker did it, courtney cox did it, even kendra did it. I mean take away the celebrity and the money and the super amazing trainers and diets, they are still just flesh and blood women, which means they either had a ceaseran or natural birth (sjp had a surrogate for her 2nd babies not her first)and so their bodies needed time to heal and after that, they needed the will power to want to lose the weight, to want to be pushed and starved so in weeks they could look fabulous. I really admire that.
I'm almost 9 weeks on in this journey but everyday is a struggle not just with finding the time and the will power to do cardio and then a bit of toning but dealing with the mental issues as well- the mood swings, hunger pangs and the weepies, theres also the decisions i have to make in my life for my future and the most important, trying to be the best person and mum i can be to little bj. Your weight and health affects every single part of you life, if your happy with who you are, it spreads across every aspect of your life, someone once said that there's nothing as infectious as a smile and i believe that, I mean dont get me wrung i've got a great life, i've got an amazing husband who just happens to be the love of my life, a son i absolutely adore and a replacement family again a gift my husband brought into our relationship and all good choices in life but this weight thing just somehow makes it all look grey instead of green and blue!!! i suppose everyone's got to have some sort of baggage!! i thought my family was it but now my fight with the scales seems more of a battle. I guess its up to me to not let this demon turn the sweet things in my life sour.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
the day before
so its been over six weeks since i became a mum!!! yay!!! i love being a mother and i absolutely adore my little one, what i really hate is the 3 stone i put on during my pregnancy(the heaviest i've ever been!). I was so fit before i got pregnant and was so sure i could lose the weight after the little man came...boy was i wrung.
I attacked the gym before my six week check up because i just felt lousy- a cocktail of unsteady hormones, stiches, sagging tummy skin and a complete life change just pushed me to the edge and the gym was the only place i felt i could control things! wrung again!!! i quickly realised i had no tummy muscles, my legs were like jelly, my groin hurt like hell and my tree trunk thighs just wouldnt do what i told them to!
however i did not accept defeat and i just plodded on. a half hour of very high intesity training later, i collapsed on the floor in tears. it was a mixed feeling of exhaustion, fustration and endorphins....weird, i konw. It felt good and bad and horrible. i knew at that point i had to lose weight, i just didnt have a choice but i also realised it would not be as easy as it was first time around and this time i needed help!!!
i carried on with a mixture of aerobics, gyming, ridiculous diet after ridiculous diet which were so hard to follow, so i fell off the wagon but carried on as i was motivated with my own self loathing! for the first time in my life i avoided mirrors and also for the first time in my life i had saggy hanging skin!!!!! i'm only 22!!!
Anyhoo 2 weeks later and i still havent lost a signle pound, i havent added any on though(i might as well be a glass half full gal!!) and i want to start this journey and i want to start it right.
for the next few months i'm going to be blogging my feelings(yes another sappy emotional blog), how my 1200kcal and exercise plan is going and my amazing journey through motherhood.
i'm really excited about this diet as i feel i can do it, the exercise bit has always come a bit easier especially when i'm low and at the moment i dont feel like i can be any lower- a point to new couples- babies, no matter how amazing they are will put a strain on your relationship no matter how solid it is!!!
as i type this blog, me and hubby have fallen out yet again about little man's feeding routine!!! its trivial i know but these are really unstable times.
Anyhoo i've have my last piece of peanut butter and honey toast!!! it is amazing!!! and i'm on to my diet tomorrow!!!! another beginning in this new mummy's life!! hehehe xxx
I attacked the gym before my six week check up because i just felt lousy- a cocktail of unsteady hormones, stiches, sagging tummy skin and a complete life change just pushed me to the edge and the gym was the only place i felt i could control things! wrung again!!! i quickly realised i had no tummy muscles, my legs were like jelly, my groin hurt like hell and my tree trunk thighs just wouldnt do what i told them to!
however i did not accept defeat and i just plodded on. a half hour of very high intesity training later, i collapsed on the floor in tears. it was a mixed feeling of exhaustion, fustration and endorphins....weird, i konw. It felt good and bad and horrible. i knew at that point i had to lose weight, i just didnt have a choice but i also realised it would not be as easy as it was first time around and this time i needed help!!!
i carried on with a mixture of aerobics, gyming, ridiculous diet after ridiculous diet which were so hard to follow, so i fell off the wagon but carried on as i was motivated with my own self loathing! for the first time in my life i avoided mirrors and also for the first time in my life i had saggy hanging skin!!!!! i'm only 22!!!
Anyhoo 2 weeks later and i still havent lost a signle pound, i havent added any on though(i might as well be a glass half full gal!!) and i want to start this journey and i want to start it right.
for the next few months i'm going to be blogging my feelings(yes another sappy emotional blog), how my 1200kcal and exercise plan is going and my amazing journey through motherhood.
i'm really excited about this diet as i feel i can do it, the exercise bit has always come a bit easier especially when i'm low and at the moment i dont feel like i can be any lower- a point to new couples- babies, no matter how amazing they are will put a strain on your relationship no matter how solid it is!!!
as i type this blog, me and hubby have fallen out yet again about little man's feeding routine!!! its trivial i know but these are really unstable times.
Anyhoo i've have my last piece of peanut butter and honey toast!!! it is amazing!!! and i'm on to my diet tomorrow!!!! another beginning in this new mummy's life!! hehehe xxx
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