In the last couple of days my emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster and i've had this overwhelming feeling of failure. Its definately all me as hubby has been as stable as ever and bj bless his heart has been on top form. Full of smiles and giggles, sleeping well, talking loads and just being perfect....I cant quite put my finger on what exactly the problem was so i concluded that perhaps i might be coming on my period??!!and when i feel like that i find it hard to express myself so i start writing, get confused and stop. The cloud has passed now i feel very much in control of my emotions again.
My weight loss is progressing, i'm 12st 9lbs now and very pleased with the progress, however i have gone back on weight watchers(dont judge me too harshly) and i'm combining that with my glamour diet. I never stopped exercising as its become some kind of a release for me, although the funnist thing happened today. As you know, i gave tracy's cardio a bit of a break last week and did vicky binns dvd, went running twice(5k) and using the gym. I attempted doing a bit of tracy today and i'm ashamed to say i only lasted 20mins before i crumpled to the floor like a block of melted lard!!! in embarrassment i forced myself to do most of her post pergnancy tonning dvd and would have carried on if bj hadnt interrupted me!
On a completely different note, Bj got his first library card today and borrowed his first 20 baby books today!!! and 30 days from tomorrow, bj will be christened. I'm a proud mama! he is my pride and joy and in a weird way, my best friend. I know its odd but i havent spent this much time with anyone in my life!! we spend soooo much time together that i think yes he does know me. I forget he's but a baby and i chat to him for hours and whether he understands me or not he makes noises back and tries to pull my hair or eat my face(which i'm sure is his way of showing affection).
Still on the topic of the christening, i've got a dear friend to take photos of it all, this will be the first time i will pose in front of the camera post baby so i have to look fabulous!!
Bearing that in mind, i'm starting yet another bootcamp for 30 days starting tommorow and this one, i will complete!! I want to lose 10lbs by the 8th of july and tone up like crazy. Of course i will be gyming 5-6 days a week and eat healthier removing my binge day!! i know it is a crash diet but i think it is a nice realistic target and i'm quite sure i can do it! xxxx
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