The higher the mountain

There are those days in life when you feel on top of the world, like you just climbed the highest mountain and you can see everyone from the top......you feel like a super hero with soooo many powers, the most important one, the power to fly!.... Today is no such day for me. Today i feel like an ant, buried deep down at the root of the mountain. So deep down, it'll take many years and many firemen to rescue me.....and my ability to fly......if only. The worst thing of all is, this was/is my decision. I have within me, the power to make myself happy in this situation, I have the power to take control, i have the power to make a choice and yet again, i chose wrung. I let myself down, i took more away from me. I was reading a book today and a statement the author made stuck to my subconscious and its been eating away at me all day. She said- 'physical cravings ruin figures, people, relationships and lives'. I read that and my first thought was, well thats a little over dramatic.....but as i kept repeating it to myself i realised it's not dramatic at all, it is actually so true. Everytime i make a bad food decision, everytime i succumb to a physical food craving that i know i shouldnt, a very small part of me dies and in the last month i feel like i have lost a huge part of who i used to be.... of who i hope to be. Everytime i chose wrong, i'm taking a dream away from me. Hence the ant underneath the mountain metaphor, i've never felt so small but actually look so big! I make no excuses about my decisions today, except that this really is rock bottom for me, the only way from here is up. So i will start climbing again, i will keep going even if it kills me, and i will reach the top......... Physical cravings ruin lives........