Its been brought to my attention that i'm a flake. Apparently i start a project with unrealistic/unsustainable enthusiasm which dies out really quickly so i never hang on to anything long enough. I tried to deny this but just looking back at my posts(didnt even have to look that far, yesterdays post was enough)i was faced with the ugly truth, it is true, i am a flake and .......yes....I have indeed fallen out of love with this healthy lifestyle, i've lost speed, momentum, drive.... whatever it is you call it, its gone and i'm left with an empty feeling in my stomach and an extra 41lbs i'm not sure what to do with.
But sometimes in life, you do things 'not because you will but because you must' so instead of just giving up like i 'usually' do, i've decided to presevere. i'm going to treat this diet and weight loss thing (in tracy anderson's word) like 'a job'(although God knows i havent done very well with those in my time) I'm going to turn up, 5 days a week at 6 am in the morning and i'm going to do an hour of exercise, i'm also going to log all my food calories in my food dairy every single day until i fall back in love with 'skinny'. This i solemnly swear.
Its just got to be done. And this time, really for the last time. So again, bring on tuesday!
Still on the subject of discovery, i discovered today that as far as babies are concerned, i'm a completely different person and i can take more than i thought i could! Never would i have thought that i'd hold a thread worm that came out of bj's bum and not flinch or be covered in baby poo and never give it a second thought, or look forward to pooey nappies and derive pleasure in cleaning the poo! i actually think myself a professional and take pride in the fact that i can do it under 30 secs without leaving any poo stains behind!
This life is really full of suprises and i've got to say, i'm loving most of them xxx
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