a new beginging ish

if i had a diet and exercise chart, there will be a huge red cross against the diet and a massive green tick against the exercise!!!!
i did all 8 combinations for the first time in my life and completed the whole mat workout as well but i ate all the cakes left over from yesterday!
I knew it was going to be a bad day as i woke up tired but at least i got the exercise bit done, just need to work on my diet. It really struck me today whilst watching morbidly obese(sunday tv is crap) just exactly why i want to do this and why losing isnt an option. Being very over weight or very under weight can consume you, its like a prison, it takes total control of you're life and everyone judges you just by how you look, there's a common stereotype the fat people are lazy people which of course is unfair but thats the reality of the world we live in. Its not just that but its waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror and liking what you see, going shopping and being able to find something really nice to wear without having to be directed to the extra large department and it doesnt even have to be that extreme, its just about feeling good about yourself at 8st, 9 st or even 18st. I've set many goals for myself and none of them is to be stick thin. I want to be able to run the 5k, i want to be abale to complete all of tracy andersons dvds and then her 90 day metamorphosis and i want to love eating healthy! as i know my body will thank me for that. I guess all i'm trying to say is i want to love my body completely. Dont get me wrung, i dont want to be obssessed with it but i want to make it the best it can be as it is a part of me.
All in all, for the first day i struggled. I struggled to find the time to do the cardio (especially since bj was in a foul mood today), i struggled to make myself do the cardio and i struggled to push my body through the mat workout but i got it done and i'm very proud, tomorrow i'll work harder on my diet and even push harder with the exercise. one day done, 5 more to go(for inspiration i've broken my month down into weeks) wish me luck!!! xx